The Birds and the Bees
Yes - I know there are all sorts of important things happening in the world. Debates to be had about life and death situations. However - a tiny but cataclysmic event took place in my family just this week.
My first baby (she was just born a couple of years ago...) is 8 1/2. That 1/2 is all important at this age. My BABY came to me the other day to ask about the little plastic bracelets. She was informed by those 'in the know' on the block (a 9 y/old girl) that these little plastic bracelets have meaning. The different colors symbolize different sexual activities that the one who wears them has participated in. Is that wild, or what? What is with these young girls? Not necessarily what's with the 9 y/olds talking about it (bad enough) - but what's with the girls who wear these bracelets? They're lost!
I told her that sometimes a bracelet is just a bracelet. Well - she hasn't heard of Freud yet - so it was then that I decided it was time for 'THE TALK'. The experts say that you should just wait until your children ask you about it. Aside from asking where the baby comes from (the uterus in my tummy, dear) she never asked much of anything else. *I* certainly was curious about just how that baby got in there when I was younger. Couldn't ask though - God Forbid!
We went shopping for a book. I don't know HOW to have the talk - so we went and bought a book. It's a cute little book called 'The Care and Keeping of You' and it can be found in the American Girl catalogs as well as at bookstores. (LOVE American Girl - especially Bitty Baby..) It goes into changes that we all go through. You know - THOSE changes. Anyhoo - after we looked through the book together and talked about it - papa explained the nuts and bolts. You know - the NUTS and BOLTS. She almost busted out laughing at him.
We also told her that only married people should do it. LOL! Oh Lord - that was wrong I know coming from her parents who didn't get re-married until she was 1. (Yes - Grizzly divorced him once) But she's only 8 for God's sake. We told her that the girls who wear the bracelets to show sexual activity are girls she needs to strive NOT to be like.
Then papa said she had to go to the nunnery. I told her NO NUNNERY! Just watch y'self out there - some people will try to take advantage. Don't let them and tell Grizzly Mama EVERYTHING!!!
I hope everyone has a great holiday weekend. God bless America!
My first baby (she was just born a couple of years ago...) is 8 1/2. That 1/2 is all important at this age. My BABY came to me the other day to ask about the little plastic bracelets. She was informed by those 'in the know' on the block (a 9 y/old girl) that these little plastic bracelets have meaning. The different colors symbolize different sexual activities that the one who wears them has participated in. Is that wild, or what? What is with these young girls? Not necessarily what's with the 9 y/olds talking about it (bad enough) - but what's with the girls who wear these bracelets? They're lost!
I told her that sometimes a bracelet is just a bracelet. Well - she hasn't heard of Freud yet - so it was then that I decided it was time for 'THE TALK'. The experts say that you should just wait until your children ask you about it. Aside from asking where the baby comes from (the uterus in my tummy, dear) she never asked much of anything else. *I* certainly was curious about just how that baby got in there when I was younger. Couldn't ask though - God Forbid!
We went shopping for a book. I don't know HOW to have the talk - so we went and bought a book. It's a cute little book called 'The Care and Keeping of You' and it can be found in the American Girl catalogs as well as at bookstores. (LOVE American Girl - especially Bitty Baby..) It goes into changes that we all go through. You know - THOSE changes. Anyhoo - after we looked through the book together and talked about it - papa explained the nuts and bolts. You know - the NUTS and BOLTS. She almost busted out laughing at him.
We also told her that only married people should do it. LOL! Oh Lord - that was wrong I know coming from her parents who didn't get re-married until she was 1. (Yes - Grizzly divorced him once) But she's only 8 for God's sake. We told her that the girls who wear the bracelets to show sexual activity are girls she needs to strive NOT to be like.
Then papa said she had to go to the nunnery. I told her NO NUNNERY! Just watch y'self out there - some people will try to take advantage. Don't let them and tell Grizzly Mama EVERYTHING!!!
I hope everyone has a great holiday weekend. God bless America!
posted by Grizzly Mama | 01:15
12 Comments:
I think it'll still be hard for her to understand for a couple more years, but starting with a base knowledge early is helpful. Heck, I'm 18 and I still don't completely understand the birds and the bees (just kidding).
Obviously everything will be fine once we start teaching condom use in kindergarten. :D
As ever, your posts are such a great read!
oh man. i heard about the bracelets the other day, too, and was appalled. but then, when you hear about kids doing "oral" in the back of the school bus...*shudder*. the boy across the street asked (and received) for the livestrong bracelet my husband wore. apparently, it ups the coolness factor when you have the most, so there are sexless connotations as well.
i saw that book the other day at B&N, and thought it was a great idea. glad to hear it get a good review!
I agree Steven and I'm 42 and still don't completely understand it! LOL. (just kidding too, of course!)
Abe - so true - NOT! But really - these 3rd graders seem to know so much. Are they getting sex-ed already in school? I'm trying to remember back...the movie, you know the one. I think it was 5th grade...criminy maybe 4th. It's a terribly vague memory.
Thank you DV right back at ya - and Alix I've heard the junior and high school girls are doing as you said - okay - I'll just say it --- oral --- eeeek! (and other stuff too) believing it not to be really having sex.
I love the book and wish I'd had it when I was 8!
Oh God - please help us to raise these girls - and why did I have girls??!! I'm really not very good at this...
Monica,
My parents were open with me about sexual activity, when and how it should happen, that it is natural, and reserved for adults. My sister and I always felt we could talk to them about kissing or holding hands, even if we felt like we might want to have sex. Through a respectful and open relationship, my sister and I were able to make the right choices.
Also, being a middle school teacher, I have intimate knowledge of the bracelets (they are thy 80's jelly bracelets that have "meaning". The number of these can connotate number of sexual partners, sexual occurances, and whether or not you are willing to engage in anal, oral, or "regular" sex. Black means "advanced" or that the person has had a lot of sex or done it with many different people. The livestrong and other braclets are just cool. Kids are having rainbow parties now, too. If you don't know, it's where girls wear different color lipsticks and give oral sex to boys. At the end of the evening, the boy with the most colors on his penis wins.
Raising girls is difficult, but boys need to hear all the information as well, and be taught to respect a girls body. Rainbow parties are not a way of doing that. Good luck! I know you and I have different religious beliefs, but I hope you don't feel that makes me a bad person and unfit to give advice, though if you do, I totally respect your decision. I find your site interesting.
Oh Polanco I am not offended the least tiny bit.
I find the whole subject difficult to talk about and probably because my parents were not open about it. I am trying to do things differently with my kids but this is one of the hurdles for me. My husband is the same although I admire his bravery in the face of not knowing what to do or say. :-)
I heard about the rainbow parties at homeschoolmomtips. Unbelievable. Blew my mind. I vaguely recall when I was in high school 25-28 yrs ago there were rumors of girls who were loose about it and participated in group sex etc - but nothing like what is happening these days. And they seem so much younger and thinking and talking about things that would never have even occurred to me until I was a bit older.
You're right the boys need to be taught too. My good neighbor and friend raised two boys and did a great job with them. They are respectful young men. He was always very honest with them although on them like white on rice with his expectations.
OMG! I am DREADING 'The Talk'... Justice came close to asking the other day...he was wondering why some married couples have no kids and what do they do to make that happen. I don't even remember what I said, but apparently it was good enouh to hold him off.
Worse than the colored bracelets --have you heard about the different colored lipsticks!?
Oh God help me...do different color lipsticks mean something now???
I can't keep up!! I'm getting old and turning into my mother. LOL!
All I can advise Ala is: Get a book. :-)
Isnt that a little young for such a talk?
I thought so Toad. Then when she came to me telling me about what she was hearing, I figured it ought to be us telling her about it rather than the kids on the block.
This whole thing is blowing my mind.
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